We've been talking for months — is this really a scam?

The duration is part of the method, it doesn't rule it out: the emotional investment is what makes the request credible when it arrives. The useful criterion isn't how long the relationship has lasted, but the fact that no independent verification — a meeting, a trusted third party brought into the loop — has ever succeeded, and that a request for money eventually arrives.

I'm being asked to receive money and then forward it — is that risky?

Yes, doubly so. These funds often come from another fraud, and the account that receives them helps obscure their trail. Beyond the loss, this exposes you to money-laundering prosecution. Refuse, and never open an account for someone else.

Romance scam

In plain terms

A relationship built up over weeks online, then a first request for money presented as exceptional. Meeting in person is always postponed, and the requests keep repeating.

Definition

The romance scam consists of building an emotional, long-distance relationship over several weeks or months, before asking for money under a pretext presented as exceptional and temporary.

How it works

Contact begins on a dating site or social network, with a polished profile that can't be cross-checked anywhere else. The exchange is intense and daily, and the relationship quickly becomes the main topic of conversation. Meeting in person is always postponed, with a plausible reason: an overseas assignment, a job that forbids video calls, a family situation. The request for money only comes afterward, presented as an unexpected event — medical costs, customs fees, a frozen bank account — accompanied by a promise of repayment. It then repeats, each new sum justified by the previous one. The lever isn't gullibility: it's the emotional commitment built before any request.

Warning signs

Systematic refusal of video calls or meeting in person, with a different excuse each time
Relationship that progresses very fast toward strong declarations
Photos and profile that can't be found anywhere else, or found under a different identity
First request for money presented as unique, urgent, and repayable
Request for discretion toward friends and family

How to verify

Suggest an unplanned video call: a repeated refusal is itself an answer. The reverse isn't true — an accepted call no longer proves identity, since a face and voice can be synthesized live. Search for the profile's photos on a reverse image search, and talk about the relationship with someone you trust before sending any money — isolation is a condition for this fraud to succeed. The verification that settles it is money: a real person doesn't make the relationship depend on a transfer.

What to do

Don't send money, whatever the reason given and whatever bond has been built. Don't share identity documents, intimate photos, or banking details.

If it already happened

Stop all payments and keep every exchange, including the banking details used. Contact your bank to attempt a recall of funds if the transfer is recent, and file a police report. Report the incident to the relevant authority. Having been emotionally manipulated is not a fault and takes away none of your rights.

Test yourself

After three months of daily messages, a first request for money arrives.

Start the simulation

Frequently asked questions

We've been talking for months — is this really a scam?: The duration is part of the method, it doesn't rule it out: the emotional investment is what makes the request credible when it arrives. The useful criterion isn't how long the relationship has lasted, but the fact that no independent verification — a meeting, a trusted third party brought into the loop — has ever succeeded, and that a request for money eventually arrives.
I'm being asked to receive money and then forward it — is that risky?: Yes, doubly so. These funds often come from another fraud, and the account that receives them helps obscure their trail. Beyond the loss, this exposes you to money-laundering prosecution. Refuse, and never open an account for someone else.

Official sources

Cybermalveillance.gouv.fr — Assistance and reporting (French government cybersecurity assistance service)

This article is part of the Social engineering family. Last updated: 2026-08-31.